KT's ConFurence 12 Diary, Page 33

Saturday, Apr. 21, 2001

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Saturday: Art's. Waiting for the Cabaret.

The menus at Art's have this on the back:
(But what do the words really mean? Here's a literal translation.)

DICTIONARY OF BASIC YIDDISH

MAYCHAIM OF DELICACIES

KREPLACH
Kosher style ravioli
KNUBBLE
Chlorophyll's press agent
CHRANE
A Jewish eye-opener
KNADEL
Delayed atom bomb
RETACH
Encore
TSIBELES
All this and herring, too

FAMILY LIFE

MISHPOCHEN
Trouble makers
M'CHOOTEN
Ringleader
KANE EISHORREH
Tommy Manville
VOS HOB ICH DOS GEDAFT
Triplets
NACHES
Lunch at Art's
ZADEH
Grandchild's piggy bank
GEDULT
Getting a teenager off the phone
HACKEN A TCHAINICH
So I sez, so she sez, so I sez

TRADITIONS AND CUSTOMS

A MICKVEH
A kosher aquacade
A SHOICKET
A cut-throat
A SHANEH GELECHTER
Belching on Yom Kippur
A GONSER KNOCHER
A Monday morning quarterback
KLOPPEN KOP ON VANT
Asking the landlord to paint
A SIMCHEH
Marrying off your last daughter
A FARSHLEPTEH KRENK
Filling out your own income tax form
A DREY KOP
A hairdresser
MOZEL
That which only a competitor possesses
FARBLUNDJET
A kosher butcher in Ireland
TAKEH?
A sandwich at Art's
L'CHAIM
Famous last words
A SCHICKER
A Jewish wino
A FARGENIGEN
A date with Elizabeth Taylor
HELPHEN VIE A TOTTEN BANKE
Talking yourself out of a traffic ticket
PAYGAH
Our competitor's customers
UNTER-FEUHRER
Undertaker
MITZVEH
Liking your wife's new hairdo
REBITZEN
Rabbi's brain trust
A CHOOPEH
Gallows
OI VAY
April 15th
KINDER
Drainage ditches
BRIS
Getting tipped off

Obviously, this "dictionary" is only funny if you already know Yiddish, so I included a literal translation of all the terms I could find translations for.

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